Jump to menu
Jump to header
Jump to content
Jump to sidebar
The International Discworld Convention - 8-11 August 2014

All items are listed below, in order of start time

Jump to:    Friday    Saturday    Sunday    Monday


Friday

Registration

Reception : 09:00 - 18:00 (9 hours)

The Grand Exhibition welcomes you!
Please form an orderly queue at the Registration desk. Our volunteers will get you your official badge which will allow you access to our wonderful event, a souvenir book, a Readme, and a bag with a few other little surprises. It is your starting point for a successful visit to the Grand Exhibition.

If you are staying at the Palace Hotel please make sure you have checked in before visiting Registration.

The Knowing

The Golem Trust : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

Meet at the Bucket, outside Sator Square : 11 a.m. (1 hour)

For the Ankh Morpork Grand Exhibition, as our lovely venue is blessed with architecture from the B.S. Johnson School of Art, we are looking for some specialised gophers to take the "Knowing", a test of your ability to get from A to B, preferably without going via XYZ, and be able to help your fellow attendees do the same.

You will be taken on a tour of the Palace, where we will point out all the various important rooms and points of interest, followed by a short test of your Knowing, after which, (should you pass) you will be awarded with the special Bowler Hat of Knowing to wear so that lost and weary travellers can find you and be guided back on the right path.

The Temple of Fate open

The Temple of Fate : 11:00 - 19:00 (8 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has a special area set aside for games. Whether you want to try a new game, an old game, or are just looking for a place to play a game with your friends: This is the place to be.
Please note that the room will be closed during certain events.

Chaos Costuming

Chaos Costuming : 11:00 - 19:00 (8 hours)

The Grand exhibition is of course also The Place to Be when it comes down to the latest fashion. Whether you are a troll, a human (or ex-human), a dwarf or of any other origin, at the Grand Exhibition you get to see what to wear and how to wear it. In case you missed packing that absolutely need to have accessory, or indeed entire outfit, the seamstresses have an entire department where they will help you out recreating the missing items.

Troll's guide to the Grand Exhibition

The Golem Trust : 14:00 - 15:00 (1 hour)

Attention, newcomers to proud Ankh-Morpork! Do you need to get your bearings and prepare yourselves for the Grand Exhibition? Come to our guide of what's hot, what's not, and what the -hell- is that man dressed as, in the city that never sleeps!

This session provides a vital introduction to The Discworld Convention for those who are new to all the fun and frolics* If you are feeling a little lost or are just curious, then come along and our trolls will guide you.

*frolics not included

The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret

The Drum : 14:00 - 16:00 (2 hours)

People think they know who they are.

They think they qualify as an Engineer, because they always bring gaffer-tape when raiding tombs. They associate freely with anyone they meet, but that does not mean that they can become a union with just anyone. Or they are so good at keeping the secret to their success that they end up as a Captain of a certain Industry.

You have inventive ideas *and* a good grasp of geology? You found the exact amount of rum-sipping that makes a meeting productive, without going into shouting territory? You have a good eye for dimensions and use that to build strange-looking buildings that leave everyone mystified?

Then come find the Truth, and see what Society would really bring out the best in you. As usual, it's the tiny print that you should be aware of!

Sator Square open

Sator Square : 14:00 - 18:30 (4.5 hours)

Sator Square is a special department at the Grand Exhibition. You want a souvenir from the Grand exhibition? This where you get it! From the small to the large, from the cheap to the expensive, astound yourself, your family and your friends with a tangible, lasting memory from the Grand Exhibition.

Teach yourself tech

The Dysk : 14:30 - 15:30 (1 hour)

It is shiny, it is impressive, and what does this button do? The light, sound and all the other behind the screens-not-actually-magic, are not the sole domain of goblins. Tech is an equal opportunity environment, regardless of species, gender or experience. You want to know more or help out during the grand exhibition, visit this briefing and learn all about it.

Gopher briefing

The Golem Trust : 15:00 - 16:00 (1 hour)

Whether your gophering teeth are well worn-in, or you’re just curious, pop along to the no-obligation Gopher Briefing to meet the head gophers, find out what it’s all about, how we’re doing things this time – and what’s in it for you! It’s all very well to tell the grandkids ‘I was there!’ but so much better to be able to say ‘I helped make the Grand Exhibition the glorious success it was!’.

Werewolf, the big one

The Opera House : 16:00 - 18:00 (2 hours)

Have you ever ran a small town. And did you wonder how things would go if your town got infested by werewolves. We know many have. Many of you have sat down, and tried to figure things out. What if _he_ is a werewolf? Or her. What does our seeer actually see at night.
Now imagine it is not just your town, but it is an entire disctrict, nay country! What if all over the land, towns have become infested, people migrate and the wolves have their midnight snacks? How would it end? Join us in the largest game of werewolf the Dysk has ever seen.

How to get the best from your Iconograph

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 18:00 - 19:00 (1 hour)

Whether you have a top of the range model with interchangeable imps and detachable salamander cage, or if you are simply using your portable clacks machine, come and pick up some helpful hints on how to get the best from your iconograph this weekend. Let the Guild of Iconographers tell you how to stop those pesky imps from shaking, how to portray a goddess in the best possible light and how to take an iconograph of the Silver Horde and walk away in (mostly) one piece.

Watch briefing

The Golem Trust : 18:00 - 19:00 (1 hour)

Ankh-Morpork has a Watch. At the Grand Exhibition, we have one as well, although we consider them to be more like hosts. Courteous, helpful and keeping things safe (These are, indeed, not the three qualities that come to mind when talking about the Ankh-Morpork Watch). Our watch consists of volunteering visitors to the Grand Exhibition. You too can help making the Grand Exhibition a success, in this rather more specialised gopher function. Visit this briefing to learn how.

Art Show Opening

The Royal Art Museum : 18:00 - 18:30 (0.5 hour)

Join us for the official opening of the Art Exhibition at the Grand Exhibition by His Tyrantness Lord Vetinari himself. His presence is your guarantee that the art is, indeed, Art (and the chances of encountering a loose mime are reduced to zero).

Opening Ceremony

The Dysk : 19:00 - 20:30 (1.5 hours)

Ankh Morpork is the place where it happens. If it doesn't happen in Ankh Morpork, it moves to Ankh Morpork so it can still happen there. If you think you have seen it all, the Grand Exhibition is going to show you that there is more, and it is here.
The Grand Exhibtion welcomes you to marvel at the inginuity of those living on the Dysk, and during the opening ceremony, a proud chairman would like to welcome you personally and might even bestow a few words of wisdom himself.

Terry's bedtime stories

The Dysk : 21:00 - 22:00 (1 hour)

As the first day of the Exhibition draws to a close, it's time to don nightcaps and fluffy slippers and think about wending our way to bed, all the excitement is over for one day... or is it?
The hat itself will be present, at this event, as will Sir Terry's esteemed factotum, Mr Rob Wilkins, who will bring tales which will delight and amuse.
We are assured that this will be a very special event and not to be missed. Dress code for this event is: Nightwear, teddy bears optional

Toast and Jam

The Opera House : 22:00 - (2 hours)

What better way to make an exhibition of yourself than by demonstrating your talents? Singers, musicians, enthusiastic (or even slightly reluctant) amateurs and experienced audience members should come along to this jam session to make beautiful music with rocks in (or without, it's all good). Have a wee drinkie and enjoy the show - and maybe be it, too.

Come meet me at my Club…

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 22:00 - 23:00 (1 hour)

The Associated Federation of Combinations.
Did you make a Decision about which Society you would like to join? Then this is the moment where you can meet your fellow Society members for the first time, and contemplate about matters of importance.

If you are not sure what Society to join, then either check out the Opening Game on Friday afternoon ('The Truth shall make you Fret') or just show up at the Society that you think will have the most fun.

Come meet me at my Club…

The Golem Trust : 22:00 - 23:00 (1 hour)

The Patinarium Club.
Did you make a Decision about which Society you would like to join? Then this is the moment where you can meet your fellow Society members for the first time, and contemplate about matters of importance.

If you are not sure what Society to join, then either check out the Opening Game on Friday afternoon ('The Truth shall make you Fret') or just show up at the Society that you think will have the most fun.

Come meet me at my Club…

The Patricians Palace : 22:00 - 23:00 (1 hour)

The Captains of Industry.
Did you make a Decision about which Society you would like to join? Then this is the moment where you can meet your fellow Society members for the first time, and contemplate about matters of importance.

If you are not sure what Society to join, then either check out the Opening Game on Friday afternoon ('The Truth shall make you Fret') or just show up at the Society that you think will have the most fun.

Words in the Head

The Oblong Office : 22:00 - 23:00 (1 hour)

Always enjoyed acting but thought learning the part and walking around a stage was too much like hard work? Come and read through some of the funniest material ever written in a relaxed, radio play atmosphere, and discover how much fun can be had with Words in the Head.

Singalong Once More with Feeling

The Drum : 22:30 - 23:30 (1 hour)

Have you ever wanted to join a choir or a singalong?
Doe singing hymns or sitting round a campfire put you off?
Does singing about vampires and demons sound like fun?

If so join us for our traditional rendition of the episode 'Once more with feeling' from Joss Wedon's Buffy the vampire slayer.*

*Singing and having fun is compulsory singing on key is not

Come meet me at my Club…

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 23:00 - (1 hour)

The Society of Engineers.
Did you make a Decision about which Society you would like to join? Then this is the moment where you can meet your fellow Society members for the first time, and contemplate about matters of importance.

If you are not sure what Society to join, then either check out the Opening Game on Friday afternoon ('The Truth shall make you Fret') or just show up at the Society that you think will have the most fun.

Come meet me at my Club…

The Golem Trust : 23:00 - (1 hour)

Society of Secrets.
Did you make a Decision about which Society you would like to join? Then this is the moment where you can meet your fellow Society members for the first time, and contemplate about matters of importance.

If you are not sure what Society to join, then either check out the Opening Game on Friday afternoon ('The Truth shall make you Fret') or just show up at the Society that you think will have the most fun.

Burlesque Dance

The Patricians Palace : 23:00 - (1 hour)

Miss Dixy Va Va Voom is keen to prove that her guild can be as cultural as any other, and would like to invite would-be Exponents of Exotic Dance to try strutting their stuff in a dance which she assures us will be 'no strip, all tease'.

Please note we recommend this event is suitable for those over the age of 16 only.

Just A Minute - After Dark Edition

The Drum : 00:00 - 01:00 (1 hour)

During daylight hours, our august assemblage assembled to challenge themselves; in eschewing hesitation, repetition and deviation, they contributed (no doubt nobly) to the linguistic and intellectual betterment of our species. However, we are not only intellectuals but explorators, and there are, in more exotic lands, certain topics that would be considered to our unenlightened ways to be taboo. But surely such debate, particularly when weaponised by the finest (and by that time often drunkest) orators and seekers of knowledge in the land, must be welcomed, as all knowledge should? In our special (and exotic) After Dark edition, there is no subject too risque, no anecdote too bawdy, no pun too filthy. Except flatulence, for it is Not Funny and just lacks class.


Saturday

Maskerade Tech Rehearsal

The Dysk : 09:00 - 11:30 (2.5 hours)

STARTS AT 8:00

Those that want to strut their stuff in the Maskerade must attend the tech rehearsal. This will be a chance to make sure every aspect of your performance will go exactly as planned, and to find out essential information about the evening’s entertainment. In order to get a time slot for the rehearsal, please visit the Maskerade table at registration on Friday and sign up.

Go Fence

The Opera House : 09:00 - 10:30 (1.5 hours)

The Grand Exhibition is all about bringing you the latest and the greatest. And the latest in duelling is not going for the knees with an axe, nor clobbering over the head with a club. Real ladies and gentleman, of any species, duel by fencing. Learn to duel like a person of standing: We have the finest tutors teach you the basics in a hands-on session.

The Temple of Fate open

The Temple of Fate : 09:00 - 12:30 (3.5 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has a special area set aside for games. Whether you want to try a new game, an old game, or are just looking for a place to play a game with your friends: This is the place to be.
Please note that the room will be closed during certain events.

Chaos Costuming

Chaos Costuming : 09:00 - 12:30 (3.5 hours)

The Grand exhibition is of course also The Place to Be when it comes down to the latest fashion. Whether you are a troll, a human (or ex-human), a dwarf or of any other origin, at the Grand Exhibition you get to see what to wear and how to wear it. In case you missed packing that absolutely need to have accessory, or indeed entire outfit, the seamstresses have an entire department where they will help you out recreating the missing items.

Art Exhibition

The Royal Art Museum : 09:00 - 12:30 (3.5 hours)

At the Grand Exhibition, not only we feed the mind, we also feed the soul. Especially for the Grand Exhibition, The Artful Nudger has hand-picked* the finest examples of art from all over the Disc, and displayed them tastefully in a quiet room to peruse at your leisure.

*Leaving receipts, naturally.

Sator Square open

Sator Square : 09:00 - 12:30 (3.5 hours)

Sator Square is a special department at the Grand Exhibition. You want a souvenir from the Grand exhibition? This where you get it! From the small to the large, from the cheap to the expensive, astound yourself, your family and your friends with a tangible, lasting memory from the Grand Exhibition.

Sator Square open - Blue dots

Sator Square : 09:00 - 10:00 (1 hour)

During this hour, Sator Square is opened for the exclusive use by those wielding a blue dot, to give them just that little bit of extra space the dealers need to seduce them with their wares.

Registration

Reception : 09:00 - 15:00 (6 hours)

The Grand Exhibition welcomes you!
Please form an orderly queue at the Registration desk. Our volunteers will get you your official badge which will allow you access to our wonderful event, a souvenir book, a Readme, and a bag with a few other little surprises. It is your starting point for a successful visit to the Grand Exhibition.

If you are staying at the Palace Hotel please make sure you have checked in before visiting Registration.

Evil Genius, Good-ish Samaritan

The Patricians Palace : 09:30 - 10:30 (1 hour)

Do you have what it takes to be an Evil Genius or are you more the Good-ish Samaritan? Come along and present your ideas to Dr Hix and his panel of guest judges and see if they think you make the grade.

Klatch Stephen Briggs

Klatch : 09:30 - 10:30 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

The Great Hedgehog Race, The Challenge

The Golem Trust : 10:00 - 11:00 (1 hour)

You have seen all the new modern marvels, now it is your turn to try your hand at inventing. A team of specialists from the Grand Exhibition will set a challenge, and it is up to you and your friends to compete with other groups to demonstrate that you can create the better solution.

How to draw a Patrician...

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

... and not end up in the scorpion pit.
Actually, let's be on the safe side and learn how to draw cartoons in general, before we get into interesting territory (in all incarnations of "interesting"). Grace Francis and Cheryl van Burgh have teamed up especially for the Grand Exhibition, to teach our visitors the basics of cartoon drawing in a hands on workshop.

Troll's guide to the Grand Exhibition

The Golem Trust : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

Attention, newcomers to proud Ankh-Morpork! Do you need to get your bearings and prepare yourselves for the Grand Exhibition? Come to our guide of what's hot, what's not, and what the -hell- is that man dressed as, in the city that never sleeps!

This session provides a vital introduction to The Discworld Convention for those who are new to all the fun and frolics* If you are feeling a little lost or are just curious, then come along and our trolls will guide you.

*frolics not included

Panel: Staging the Discworld

The Patricians Palace : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

What does it take to change a book into a play? Which bits do you want to see on the stage and which will have to remain on the paper? What are your priorities. How do you solve all those practical problems when you put a book on the stage, like; there is simply no space for a 1000 elephants, not even mentioning the (slightly steaming) mess they will leave. Experts including Stephen Briggs and John Hicks will discuss this, and answer questions from the audience.

Cripple Mr. Onion Workshop

The Temple of Fate : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

The Guild of Gamblers, Fortune Tellers and Turf Accountants cordially invite you to attend their marvellously conceived magic lantern exposition of the ultimate game of chance and skill using a vastly improved, nay, wholly authentic, Caroc deck. Our newly devised cards are faithful to the game as described in The Light Fantastic and Witches Abroad and recently redefined in The Discworld Companion: Turtle Recall.
Handmade Discworld decks (including the major arcana for those gifted with the Sight) are available for your amusement in The Temple of Fate during normal opening hours throughout the convention.

The best fruit might be over there…

The Opera House : 11:30 - 12:30 (1 hour)

In a language that was devised for guiding people to where the best fruit is, discussing philosophical and practical matters of modern day living is quite a challenge. To do so without repetition, hesitation, deviation or repetition makes it even more interesting.

Come and see whether the contestants of the best Societies stand up to the test.

Guest of Honour interview

The Dysk : 12:30 - 14:30 (2 hours)

Although our Guest of Honour will not physically be in the same place as us, modern technology, high speed clacks and moving pictures will still allow him to answer many of the questions which have been presented to him (also using clacks). Several of our other guests who are physically present will join his representation on the stage, making this one of the must-see parts of the Grand Exhibition.

Sator Square open

Sator Square : 14:00 - 19:00 (5 hours)

Sator Square is a special department at the Grand Exhibition. You want a souvenir from the Grand exhibition? This where you get it! From the small to the large, from the cheap to the expensive, astound yourself, your family and your friends with a tangible, lasting memory from the Grand Exhibition.

Discworld Diary and Atlas

The Opera House : 14:30 - 15:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join the Discworld Emporium as they talk about the creation of the Discworld Diary and Atlas.

Gopher briefing

The Golem Trust : 14:30 - 15:30 (1 hour)

Whether your gophering teeth are well worn-in, or you’re just curious, pop along to the no-obligation Gopher Briefing to meet the head gophers, find out what it’s all about, how we’re doing things this time – and what’s in it for you! It’s all very well to tell the grandkids ‘I was there!’ but so much better to be able to say ‘I helped make the Grand Exhibition the glorious success it was!’.

Mark reads Troll Bridge

The Patricians Palace : 14:30 - 15:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Mark Oshiro is an expert in not being an expert. For his Mark Reads Discworld project, he is reading all of Discworld in order making every effort to know nothing about what’s coming up ahead (he’s currently just finished Mort). In this session he will read the short story Troll Bridge for the very first time, aloud and for your entertainment.

Discworld Roleplaying

The Oblong Office : 14:30 - 18:30 (4 hours)

Have you always wanted to be an adventurer, but shied back because of the inconveniences, such as bruises, cuts or getting killed? At the Grand Exhibition, Phil Masters will let you experience the exciting life, the tough choices and the glamour, while remaining in the comfort of the Palace.
For each game, 6 people can join, please subscribe beforehand at ops.

Klatch Colin Smythe

Klatch : 14:30 - 15:30 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

The Temple of Fate open

The Temple of Fate : 14:30 - 19:30 (5 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has a special area set aside for games. Whether you want to try a new game, an old game, or are just looking for a place to play a game with your friends: This is the place to be.
Please note that the room will be closed during certain events.

Chaos Costuming

Chaos Costuming : 14:30 - 19:30 (5 hours)

The Grand exhibition is of course also The Place to Be when it comes down to the latest fashion. Whether you are a troll, a human (or ex-human), a dwarf or of any other origin, at the Grand Exhibition you get to see what to wear and how to wear it. In case you missed packing that absolutely need to have accessory, or indeed entire outfit, the seamstresses have an entire department where they will help you out recreating the missing items.

Art Exhibition

The Royal Art Museum : 14:30 - 19:30 (5 hours)

At the Grand Exhibition, not only we feed the mind, we also feed the soul. Especially for the Grand Exhibition, The Artful Nudger has hand-picked* the finest examples of art from all over the Disc, and displayed them tastefully in a quiet room to peruse at your leisure.

*Leaving receipts, naturally.

Strangely Fascinating

The Dysk : 15:30 - 16:30 (1 hour)

QI for the Discworld
Making a triumphant return for your stimulation and delectation, please welcome the astonishing spectacle that is Strangely Fascinating, as Honoured Guests and Learned Pundits vie for supremacy in knowledge, sparkling wit and repartee in this beloved panel game. Our theme for this foray into the tantalisingly obscure and arcane is, of course, concerned with the Great Wahooni and all its coruscating facets and factoids.
As always, your urbane and erudite hosts are Messrs Harkin and Boote, who will entertain three towering intellects of renown, whose conversational skills in bamboozlement and rhetoric are guaranteed to amaze and delight.

Klatch Ian Stewart

Klatch : 15:30 - 16:30 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

Rob Wilkins Speaks

The Dysk : 16:30 - 17:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Rob Wilkins as he talks about the excitement, crises and larks that make up a day in the life of working with Sir Terry Pratchett.

The Orangutan Foundation

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 16:30 - 17:30 (1 hour)

The Orangutan Foundation is one of the charities that is sponsored by the Grand Exhibition. At this lecture, they will explain what they do to improve the lives of the Librarian’s cousins.

Lu Tze's Tai Chi

The Golem Trust : 16:30 - 17:00 (0.5 hour)

Lu Tze (b. From the pen of Sir Pterry, d. and still not dead), a.k.a. David Brashaw from the upper echelon of all things martial, invites ye good visitors of the Grand Exhibition to a introduction to the eald relaxation art of Tai Chi n[sis].

It's a million to one chance….

The Patricians Palace : 16:30 - 17:30 (1 hour)

but is this one of those nine tries?

The Societies of the Discworld are a collection of the best of the best. At least, that is what they claim. But the time has come for each of them to show what they are made of. What is it that they do better than anyone else. And can we measure and record it, so other people can try to be even better.

Klatch Ben Aaronovitch

Klatch : 17:00 - 18:00 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

The Science of Discworld IV

The Dysk : 17:30 - 18:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Ian Stewart and Jack Cohen as they talk about their latest book, The Science of Discworld IV.

Walter Plinge's Parodic Constructorium

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 17:30 - 18:30 (1 hour)

The Discworld has always respected and encouraged creativity - think of playsmiths like Hwel, and musicians like Enrico Basilica or Imp y Celyn. This being Ankh-Morpork, though, "copyright" is an encouragement. And the masterpiece you spent ages creating can be picked up and run with by others... often, headlong into the nearest lamp-post. In this hour we discuss what makes a good parody song, or "filk", with guest appearances from a distinguished panel, Breebaart's Axiom, the Great Old Ones and a thousand Harvard mathematicians. We may even demonstrate. And you will be able to finish this event by helping us all filk-off.

Octarine Screen Iconography

The Golem Trust : 17:30 - 18:30 (1 hour)

Now is the time to take your place on parade with the Watch's finest. Join the latest recruits as they take the king's shilling. They'll take anyone these days, whatever the species. Yes, even you! Your parade iconograph will find its way to the Disc Wide Wossname for you to download, as if by magic (don't tell the UU)

Signing session Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart

The Dysk : 18:30 - 19:00 (0.5 hour)

You have just heard the experts, and we hope you have enjoyed it. Wouldn't it be nice to have their signatures in one of their books as well? This is your chance! After their lecture,Ian Stewart and jack Cohen will remain for a signing session.

Jacquelines Simpsons stories from all eras

The Opera House : 18:30 - 19:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Jacqueline Simpson as she draws from her sheer inexhaustible story repertoire.

Mark Reads Discworld

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 18:30 - 19:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Mark Oshiro is an expert in not being an expert. Please join him as he discusses his Mark Reads Discworld project and his thoughts on Discworld so far, having only read up to the end of Mort. Laugh at how unprepared he is, but no spoilers, sweetie!

Guards! Guards!

The Golem Trust : 19:00 - 20:00 (1 hour)

The most honourable purveyors of board and dice playing creations, Backspindle Games, present a live “run-around-ye-olde-Grand-Exhibition” game of Guards! Guards! where one can have fun, mirth and merriment and the possibility of chocolate/prizes. Crivens!

Maskerade

The Dysk : 20:00 - 22:00 (2 hours)

The Maskerade is an exciting opportunity to watch talented entertainers from around the Dysk display their costuming creations and perform in short pieces of theatre.
Performers will compete before the judges for the grand title of ‘Best in Show’ - and the chance to win the highly coveted silver trophy. Come along and see the spectacular costumes and marvel at the creative versatility of these Exhibitionists!

This maskerade was brought to you by…

The Dysk : 22:00 - 22:30 (0.5 hour)

A word from our sponsors.
Don't wonder what you can do for your Society, see what your Society would do for YOU!

The Hedgehog party

The Opera House : 22:00 - 02:00 (4 hours)

At the Grand Exhibition, not everything needs to be a lecture, a formal gathering or in any other way intended to elevate the mind. All our visitors are invited to The Hedgehog Party, a party that has its roots in AFP (alt.fan.pratchett), and where people from all over the Dysk (and all corners of the internet) gather and will basically have an enjoyable evening. You do run the risk of encountering really weird food stuffs, brought to you by all the visitors themselves. (salt liquorice is he first that comes to mind).
Contribute your own regional delicacy!

Maskerade Results

The Dysk : 22:30 - 23:30 (1 hour)

This is the moment performers and spectators alike will have been waiting for - the announcement of the results from the Maskerade judging!

Maskerade Iconography

The Golem Trust : 23:30 - 00:30 (1 hour)

The Guild of Iconographers invite you to join them after the Maskerade for Press iconographs. Stars of the stage can have their portrait taken by one of our official Iconographers, followed by an opportunity for adoring fans to capturing their own images. Join us at the stage door and don’t forget your autograph book.


Sunday

Lu Tze's Tai Chi

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 09:00 - 09:30 (0.5 hour)

Lu Tze (b. From the pen of Sir Pterry, d. and still not dead), a.k.a. David Brashaw from the upper echelon of all things martial, invites ye good visitors of the Grand Exhibition to a introduction to the eald relaxation art of Tai Chi n[sis].

Dancing with the Nac Mac Feegle

The Golem Trust : 09:00 - 10:00 (1 hour)

Discover a more cultural side to the Nac Mac Feegle with the flyin’ o’ the kilts and the flexin’ o’ the knees. The Ankh Morpork Folk Dance and Song Society's roving reporters are here to present a selection of jigs and reels that will almost certainly not end in warfare.

The Temple of Fate open

The Temple of Fate : 09:00 - 15:00 (6 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has a special area set aside for games. Whether you want to try a new game, an old game, or are just looking for a place to play a game with your friends: This is the place to be.
Please note that the room will be closed during certain events.

Chaos Costuming

Chaos Costuming : 09:00 - 15:00 (6 hours)

The Grand exhibition is of course also The Place to Be when it comes down to the latest fashion. Whether you are a troll, a human (or ex-human), a dwarf or of any other origin, at the Grand Exhibition you get to see what to wear and how to wear it. In case you missed packing that absolutely need to have accessory, or indeed entire outfit, the seamstresses have an entire department where they will help you out recreating the missing items.

Art Exhibition

The Royal Art Museum : 09:00 - 15:00 (6 hours)

At the Grand Exhibition, not only we feed the mind, we also feed the soul. Especially for the Grand Exhibition, The Artful Nudger has hand-picked* the finest examples of art from all over the Disc, and displayed them tastefully in a quiet room to peruse at your leisure.

*Leaving receipts, naturally.

Come see the Deities!

The Opera House : 09:30 - 11:00 (1.5 hours)

The century of the Fruitbat has come and gone, and with all the steamy inventions around, people might thing the Deities do no longer matter. And they would be WRONG! After all, wasn't the fire that is needed for the Steam stolen from the Gods in the first place?

The Gods still need attention, and if they don't get it, they will come and search for it. And not necessarily according in a time and a place that we would choose.

Discworld Book Covers

The Patricians Palace : 09:30 - 10:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Colin Smythe as he tells us about the long history of the covers of the Discworld books.

Sator Square open

Sator Square : 09:30 - 13:00 (3.5 hours)

Sator Square is a special department at the Grand Exhibition. You want a souvenir from the Grand exhibition? This where you get it! From the small to the large, from the cheap to the expensive, astound yourself, your family and your friends with a tangible, lasting memory from the Grand Exhibition.

Discworld to Roleplaying Game

The Oblong Office : 10:00 - 11:00 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Phil Masters, author of the Discworld Roleplaying Game, as he explains all about it.

Klatch Jack Cohen

Klatch : 10:00 - 11:00 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

Panel: Physics and Magick

The Patricians Palace : 10:30 - 11:30 (1 hour)

Physics and Magic are sometimes closely related, and sometimes each other’s opposites. And in some cases indistinguishable. Several experts, amongst whom number Ian Stewart, Diane Duane and Ben Aaronovitch, will discuss this and answer questions from the audience.

Charity Auction

The Dysk : 11:00 - 14:00 (3 hours)

The Anhk-Morpork Fine Art Appreciation Society in association with King's Auction House present their biennial Charity Auction. Mrs Euphemia King invites you to view and bid upon curiosities and artefacts from Psephopololis to the clay basins of Mithos. Bring your bidding paddles and your wallets for an afternoon of culture and courteous bidding.

Why we love Discworld

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

As part of a doctoral research, in 2007 an on-line survey of Discworld fans was conducted. This survey asked fans a range of questions about their fan activities and reading habits. But most importantly it asked about their favourite Discworld Books and Characters. This session will present some of the findings of this research. Who was the favourite favourite? Was it your favourite? Or will it be a complete surprise? Did older fans have different favourites to younger fans? What was the favourite book? Why? For answers to these questions and more come along and find out “Why we love Discworld”

The Great Hedgehog Race, Trials

The Golem Trust : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

You have been creative, you have been inventive. Your entire team has been brilliant. But have you been brilliant in the right direction. Are you solving the challenge, or have you just invented the 7th wheel on a cart? BS Johnson would be proud, but luckily there is only one of him, and let's keep it that way. This is where our specialists will tell you if you are moving in the right direction.

Discworld Roleplaying

The Oblong Office : 11:00 - 15:00 (4 hours)

Have you always wanted to be an adventurer, but shied back because of the inconveniences, such as bruises, cuts or getting killed? At the Grand Exhibition, Phil Masters will let you experience the exciting life, the tough choices and the glamour, while remaining in the comfort of the Palace.
For each game, 6 people can join, please subscribe beforehand at ops.

Klatch Daniel Knight

Klatch : 11:00 - 12:00 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

Bernard Pearson on, well, everything

The Opera House : 11:30 - 12:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Famous raconteur Bernard Pearson enjoys sharing his wisdom and experience with a mesmerised audience.

Create your own Religion

The Patricians Palace : 11:30 - 12:30 (1 hour)

The lands of the Disc are filled with gods of all shapes and sizes. But where do these small (and big) gods come from? Did they invent us, or did we invent them? Emboldened by the investigative spirit of the Grand Exhibition a select group will attempt to create a new religion and observe the consequences! (Please do not wear copper to this event.)

Dementia Friends

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 12:00 - 13:00 (1 hour)

Great scientific and social innovations. Learn about dementia, living with the disease and what you can do to make the lives of people living with it a bit better. Professor Finch is a trained Dementia Champion.

Klatch Rob Wilkins

Klatch : 12:00 - 13:00 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

Lecture by Jack Cohen

The Opera House : 12:30 - 13:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Jack Cohen as he talks about Laws of Nature, and why the B-Z reaction (demonstrated by him) shows that they don't always apply....

Children’s Maskerade

The Golem Trust : 12:30 - 13:30 (1 hour)

This fancy dress competition is one for the youngsters. Children under 14 who want to show off their costumes, without entering the main Maskerade, can come along to the Children’s Maskerade and sign up there and then. All entrants must be accompanied by a grown-up.

Ben Aaronovitch Lecture

The Patricians Palace : 12:30 - 13:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Ben Aaronovitch as he talks about his writing.

Springboard for Children

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 13:00 - 14:00 (1 hour)

Springboard is one of the charities that is sponsored by the Grand Exhibition. They help improve literacy for those children that are at risk of being left behind in the education system. Please join their lecture on their goals and methods.

Klatch Bernard Pearson

Klatch : 13:00 - 14:00 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

Urban Folklore on the Discworld

The Opera House : 13:30 - 14:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Jacqueline Simpson as she talks about Urban Folklore on the Discworld.

Signing session Ben Aaronovitch

The Patricians Palace : 13:30 - 14:30 (1 hour)

You have just heard the expert, and we hope you have enjoyed it. Wouldn't it be nice to have his signature in one of his books as well? This is your chance! After his lecture, Ben Aaronovitch will remain for a signing session.

'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH'

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 14:00 - 15:00 (1 hour)

There are people who would not let the paint dry on signs like this. Who live their lives to see if things can be meant for other things than (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, or (d) rocks.

So come and see the people who survived, and learn the easy way what they had to learn the hard way.

Guards! Guards!

The Golem Trust : 14:00 - 15:00 (1 hour)

The most honourable purveyors of board and dice playing creations, Backspindle Games, present a live “run-around-ye-olde-Grand-Exhibition” game of Guards! Guards! where one can have fun, mirth and merriment and the possibility of chocolate/prizes. Crivens!

Sator Square open

Sator Square : 14:00 - 16:00 (2 hours)

Sator Square is a special department at the Grand Exhibition. You want a souvenir from the Grand exhibition? This where you get it! From the small to the large, from the cheap to the expensive, astound yourself, your family and your friends with a tangible, lasting memory from the Grand Exhibition.

Signing session Jacqueline Simpson

The Opera House : 14:30 - 15:00 (0.5 hour)

You have just heard the expert, and we hope you have enjoyed it. Wouldn't it be nice to have her signature in one of her books as well? This is your chance! After her lecture, Jacqueline Simpson will remain for a signing session.

Troll Bridge Test Screening

The Dysk : 15:00 - 16:00 (1 hour)

In the far-off land of XXXX, they have not learnt the lessons of Holy Wood. A long time ago, a small band of kinematographers called Snowgum Films decided to make a film about the legendary Cohen the Barbarian and his quest to the Troll Bridge. After many years of hard work and much raising of funds, they have just about finished and have brought the click to the Exhibition for your enjoyment!

Troll Bridge Q&A

The Dysk : 16:00 - 17:00 (1 hour)

After watching the Troll Bridge click this is your chance to ask questions of Daniel Knight, Head Kinematographer for the Snowgum Films about how, or indeed, why they made this production, what is their favourite shadow puppet shape, and what special measures were taken to stop Cohen the Barbarian finding out about it?

The World is not a Dysk

The Patricians Palace : 17:00 - 18:00 (1 hour)

by Spread-the-Word Gladly

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Spread-the-Word-of-Om-throughout-the-Lands-of-the-Heathen-Gladly as he gives compelling evidence that the World is not a Dysk. Ian Stewart may be hard to find during this event.

Discworld Beers

The Oblong Office : 17:00 - 18:00 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Paul Kruzycki as he explains the ins and outs of brewing Discworld Beers.

Klatch Ian Mitchell and Reb Voyce

Klatch : 17:00 - 18:00 (1 hour)

A Kaffee Klatch is an event where a small group of visitors to the Grand Exhibition can share coffee, tea and biscuits with one of the special guests. These events are very popular, so entry is by lottery. Application and explanation are available at Registration or, after Registration is closed, Ops.

The Temple of Fate open

The Temple of Fate : 17:00 - 19:00 (2 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has a special area set aside for games. Whether you want to try a new game, an old game, or are just looking for a place to play a game with your friends: This is the place to be.
Please note that the room will be closed during certain events.

Chaos Costuming

Chaos Costuming : 17:00 - 19:00 (2 hours)

The Grand exhibition is of course also The Place to Be when it comes down to the latest fashion. Whether you are a troll, a human (or ex-human), a dwarf or of any other origin, at the Grand Exhibition you get to see what to wear and how to wear it. In case you missed packing that absolutely need to have accessory, or indeed entire outfit, the seamstresses have an entire department where they will help you out recreating the missing items.

Art Exhibition

The Royal Art Museum : 17:00 - 19:00 (2 hours)

At the Grand Exhibition, not only we feed the mind, we also feed the soul. Especially for the Grand Exhibition, The Artful Nudger has hand-picked* the finest examples of art from all over the Disc, and displayed them tastefully in a quiet room to peruse at your leisure.

*Leaving receipts, naturally.

Show us what you've got

Reception : 17:00 - 18:00 (1 hour)

What is the use of joining in with like-minded people, if no-one knows you did. In fact, how do you get people to join you, if no-one knows that you exist?

Use the great tradition of the bards as an excuse, by singing songs of all your deeds (rocks optional).

Honour the great tradition of heraldry by flagging you existence. And make sure that you immortalize your most important member in a statue. After all, it is an exposition, so let's have something to expose.

Pre Gala Dinner gathering

The Dysk : 18:30 - 19:00 (0.5 hour)

Commander Vimes, Duke of Ankh Morpork etc etc will be rallying the
masses in anticipation of the Secret Watchman's Ball, held this year in
the abundantly munificent surroundings of the Palace Hotel, Man
Chestershire. He intends to inspire the troops with Rousing Words and
Diverse examples of the life of a Watchman/woman/misc/Nobby, exhorting
one and all to follow in the path of the Greater Good, Decency and a
hard boiled egg.

The Night Circus

The Dysk : 19:00 - (5 hours)

Have you ever wanted to run away and join the circus?
For one night only, the Night Circus comes to Ankh Morpork. It sets up at Dusk and is gone by Dawn - and you can be its new star. Join in – learn some circus skills, play games at the sideshows and have fun, even if it means making a Grand Exhibition of yourself!
The Night Circus will be enlivened by a special appearance of Mitch Benn, timed perfectly so those who were present at the Gala Dinner can join us and enjoy his unique talents.

Gala Dinner

The Opera House : 19:00 - 22:00 (3 hours)

Following the announcement by Commander Vimes and the recruitment drive from far and wide, the Secret Watchmen/women/miscellaneous species/Nobby (delete as appropriate) will be gathering, nay jostling together, for the Annual Secret Watchman's Ball. This wonderfully magnificent event is graced by the presence of many of the Good and Worthy and Speeches are anticipated for the edification of the attendees. It is rumoured that the Patrician himself may grace us with his presence and a few 'kind words'.

Please note that this event is for ticket-holders only.

Singalong Doctor Horrible

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 23:00 - (1 hour)

Is singing about vampires offputting?
Would you rather sing about a super hero and his arch-nemesis?
Do you want to laugh as you sing?

If so then join us for our traditional rendition of Dr Horribles sing-a-long blog.*

*Singing and having fun is compulsory singing on key is not


Monday

Buckle your Swash, Swash your Buckler

The Opera House : 09:00 - 10:30 (1.5 hours)

(and jump, duck or sidestep when required!)

Some Grand, Great or Not-So-Small Exhibitions might include A Romantick Play of Three Acts, to include A Terrific Broadsword Combat – and possibly A Thousand Elephants (or One Elephant on a Fast-Moving Turntable.)

The Ankh-Morpork Grand Exhibition turns a beady, critical and slightly blackened eye (should have ducked, remember?) on what A Terrific Combat involves so the play or Moving Picture doesn’t need re-cast after every fight scene, whether any of those spinny leapy jumpy tricks make sense—

And what happens when they don’t.

The Temple of Fate open

The Temple of Fate : 09:00 - 13:00 (4 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has a special area set aside for games. Whether you want to try a new game, an old game, or are just looking for a place to play a game with your friends: This is the place to be.
Please note that the room will be closed during certain events.

Notwithstanding the existence in any other person of any interest (whether derived by creation from Sir Terry Pratchett or his Herald, Rob of Morporkian) ye goode townsfolk are invited, nae encouraged to participate in the revered boarde games of Guards! Guards! and The Clacks herewith; but nothing herein shall prevent a City Watch official or Backspindle Games inc. from giving merriment to any individual affecting such fun between himfelf and any other person but abfolutely free from all other encumbrances whatsoever.

Art Exhibition

The Royal Art Museum : 09:00 - 13:00 (4 hours)

At the Grand Exhibition, not only we feed the mind, we also feed the soul. Especially for the Grand Exhibition, The Artful Nudger has hand-picked* the finest examples of art from all over the Disc, and displayed them tastefully in a quiet room to peruse at your leisure.

*Leaving receipts, naturally.

Sator Square open

Sator Square : 09:30 - 14:00 (4.5 hours)

Sator Square is a special department at the Grand Exhibition. You want a souvenir from the Grand exhibition? This where you get it! From the small to the large, from the cheap to the expensive, astound yourself, your family and your friends with a tangible, lasting memory from the Grand Exhibition.

Renaming the Palace

The Opera House : 10:30 - 12:30 (2 hours)

Societies are like witches. There is no official hierarchy, but everyone likes to think that they have more experience at being inexperienced about things. As long as they can all warm themselves in that glow of ignorance, things should be fine. But it is about to end.

This is the time and place where the Societies will meet the challenges of the Disc, and it can be decided once and for all which Society gets the chance to earn the right to the shiniest headquarters: the Palace buildings once they are vacated.

Panel: The Teaching of Magic

The Patricians Palace : 11:30 - 12:30 (1 hour)

How does one actually teach magic? In Ankh-Morpork we have of course Unseen University (hard to miss), but might there be other ways to teach magic to a (hopefully talented) pupil. Several experts such as Diane Duane and Ben Aaronovitch will discuss this, and answer questions from the audience.

Troll Bridge Behind The Scenes

The Dysk : 12:30 - 13:30 (1 hour)

Despite Ankh-Morpork's past experience with moving pictures, we are still very interested in how and why people make these things. Come along and watch another click where the intrepid kinematographers of XXXX show us how they made the first click and survived to tell the tale.

The Folklore of Victorian London

The Opera House : 13:30 - 14:30 (1 hour)

The Grand Exhibition is proud to give its visitors in depth information and the latest insights, personally conveyed by experts in the field.
Please join Jacqueline Simpson as she talks about the Folklore of Victorian London

The Great Hedgehog Race, The Finals

The Golem Trust : 13:30 - 14:30 (1 hour)

This is the moment of truth. This is what you did it for. This is the moment our specialists will judge if they think you have the right solution, and more importantly, if you have the best solution. Did you do better than your competitors? Whom would they hire for a challenge such as this?

Radio Play

The Dysk : 14:30 - 15:30 (1 hour)

The Discworld Downsizers proudly present an audio-tronic spectacular where they will tell the tale of the Discworld in 40 minutes without the aid of a safety net!

So you think you can do it better?

The Sunshine Sanctuary : 15:30 - 16:30 (1 hour)

At the Grand Exhibition, we strive to improve our service and your experience. Since a feedback form, is, well, a form, join us at this gathering where you can give us your feedback, both positive and negative, in an actual meeting. We love to hear what you enjoyed, what didn't enjoy and especially how you think we can improve things.

Raising Steam - The REAL Story!

The Golem Trust : 15:30 - 16:30 (1 hour)

Have you been on a steam train at one of our heritage railways? Do you know what has to happen before the loco gets on the front of the train, and after you've gone home? If not (and even if you do), come along to this demonstration and see a real, live, (model) steam loco prepared and run!

(Bring your own oily rag)

Closing ceremony

The Dysk : 16:30 - 17:30 (1 hour)

All things must come to an end,even the good things like the Grand Exhibition. We hope our visitors, that is you!, enjoyed the experience and, while you were at it, have gained knowledge, wisdom and an in-sight in why Ankh Morpork is the finest city on he Dysk. And above all: Had fun.
By now, most has been said and done, but there are a few things that need to be said in person, in a closing ceremony.

Dead Monkey Party

The Opera House : 19:00 - (5 hours)

The Grand Exhibition has closed. really. Sorry. The palace has been granted to the society which proved to be most worthy, the exhibitions are closed and the lecturers have taken a break.
The grand Exhibition has entirely closed. Well,.... not entirely. One small group of indomitable visitors still holds out against the looming fate real life. In a room with a bar, they still keep going.